I was in prayer with JC, Alicia, and D Walters when I realized that in my salvation and in my walk with GOD that HIS grace is much more present than I can even begin to imagine.
In the event of my salvation, when I truly turned my heart over to Christ (debatable) I came to the realization that nobody I ever heard of actually went after GOD to receive this gift, this is true in my case as well. I never turned my eyes and my heart to Christ. I never chased after a life with him. It was in a simple glance, just a small glance of GOD that Christ rushed into my heart.
In my case, I can go as far as saying that it was not out of choice, but GOD planted a desire in my heart so strong that I gave him a glance (not knowing who or where I was looking to) and in that movement, my life was redeemed by the grace of GOD. It is an amazing thought that GOD so desired to be with me and in me, he was waiting for just a glance at Him that he controlled in one way or another, so that he could rescue me.
It was a Wednesday night and I was at church for the youth group (which I only began to attend in the first place because JC smoked with me before we went)(he got saved that week!). It happened to be the one night out of the month that leadership decided to hold a game night for the youth instead of a normal service. Considering I was extremely stoned, the game night idea was not my favorite.
Dazed and Confused I sat aside while others ran around enjoying the dodge ball game. I remember D Sparks confronted me to ask why I was not playing. Of course I used an excuse because I could not tell him I was stoned (does not usually work too well with leadership). As he walked away something clicked in me (I do not have the slightest clue as to why or how) and I realized just who I really was in my most broken state. That's just when GOD answered the question that had not yet been asked. Who can do all that needed to be done in my life? GOD said "I can".
Instantly I came to a realization that my whole life was empty without HIM, and I was forced to accept what was true, and right, and just. That was about the time my knees gave out and every muscle in my body was suddenly in GOD's control. I ended up half-way crawling out the back door of the gym. Pastor Andrew and David Sparks (they saw everything unfold) were immediately following and praying over me.
Never that night did I choose to follow GOD. Never did I choose to follow GOD. Never did I "accept" Christ out of my free will. GOD's want for me to be with Him and His everlasting grace snatched me from the darkness I called home. It is by His grace that I pray to the same GOD that took over 2 years back. It is by His grace that we are not consumed by the fires of Hell. It is by His grace we are saved.
THANK YOU FATHER.
In You I am found.
